RELEASE
By Loribeth Hawkeye

Today I got up and put on a face.
The one showing I can handle anything.
I smile slightly in the mirror at the game.
I can fool them all today with this one.

Last night was a night of gashes.
A sacrifice of feeling the straight pain.
Feeling the burn and watching the drip.
So many things pound at me from everywhere.

I had to feel, I had to know I could feel again.
I watch those I love peeled off one by one.
Like pieces of an oranges sticky sweet skin.
Juices’ fall into a pile of lost faces and hands.

They leave not knowing how much is peeled off me.
Taking with them chunks of thought and being.
I stand there and hand it out to them as they pass,
As if it were part of the code of those left living.

Sitting on my pity pot, using both hands, I feel safe.
Here I can sit in the solitude, holding my own pain.
No one can see how deep the feeling scares are.
Simple little slits I push over and over and over again.

So, the face will stay on today and the next day.
And in the darkness I will sit when the time is right
And push and gab and slash those left parts of me.
And I will know that I am alive and that it is my duty.

@ All Rights Reserved